That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
