No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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