I got chris browned last night
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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