I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can text with my tongue
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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