I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vagina is officially offended.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
