It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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