Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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