yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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