Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
