can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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