ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
