If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
