her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
