i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
