I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
