I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
