I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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