she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
