Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
