I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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