Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
