Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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