im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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