For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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