FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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