Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
