but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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