We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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