I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
