margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
