I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What a dumb baby whore.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
