she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
its liver damage thursday
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
