all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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