Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pappa wants mamma naked
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
