Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
