Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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