Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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