so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
