you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
