Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
