Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
