i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
