Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
