But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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