He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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