It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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