..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Say something about gay babies.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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