sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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