Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
