You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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