ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
