my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
